Autumn Trees, Cheese, and Mysteries
by sausuge
Summary: He was utterly and completely alone. but his company isn't who he expected. [Naruto death, kinda parody, oneshot, NONyoai]


**me:I know... I'm bad.. 'how dareI not update 'summer rain', and then have the gual topost a new story!' ...but alas...I could not resist... forgive me Yu Yu fansand enjoy Naruto fans! -is dodging various objects thrown by Yu Yu fans-**

**YuYu fans: traitor!**

**me: mep!

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**:…Autumn trees, cheese, and mysteries…:

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Alone….

…

That's how he felt. Utterly and completely alone. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was just the time of year. It was when all the trees died, and a miserable cold filled the air.

It wasn't that he didn't like the cold, on the contrary, he loved it, but it was just that he got fewer missions during this time. And fewer missions meant more free time. And more free time meant more thinking. And more thinking meant any number of bad things.

He almost laughed, almost smiled, almost showed emotion for the first time in four years. He remembered things when he had nothing to do. And remembering things was bad. It could result in something everyone feared in receiving from him now: emotions.

That's right. Naruto Uzumaki, the loud, over-zealous, hyperactive ninja, was as cold and stoic as could be. It had been four years since the incident with the kitsune inside of him. It had taken control, and killed one of his good friends. It had murdered Lee-san, the green beast of Konoha. No. **HE** had murdered Lee-san. It was soon after that he realized that any emotion he had, be it happiness or anger, the Kyuubi would take control and harness his body. At first it was hard being so detached. But then again, he didn't have many things to be attached to.

But, that is beside the point. How HAD he gotten so off topic? Oh well, it didn't matter. He was still bored. And still alone. He was stuck in some forest somewhere. He didn't know where he was half the time anyways, so why did it matter now? …That's right. Today was his birthday. But… he had no one to celebrate with. He had run from Konoha after he had killed Lee. He knew he wouldn't be welcomed, so why bother? He had tried to find a home. He had probably searched just about every village in the fire country, and still had yet to find a home. The only contact he had with people these days consisted of: shop keepers, inn owners, and angry ninjas that he had to fight. Of course he also met with the pervy Sannin. That was the only thing that still connected him to his old life.

The old perv had offered, many a time, to house Naruto, but he had refused every time. It was too risky. What if he got out of control? What if the Kyuubi got loose and killed the old perv? Naruto would never forgive himself.

But none of that mattered now. The pervy Sannin would never see him again. Neither would any of the shop keepers or inn owners, though he doubted they would care.

He was dying.

Now that he thought about it, maybe that was why he felt so alone. Because he was dying. He was sitting under some half-dead tree, that reminded him much of himself at the moment, bleeding to death.

Now this was just stupid. Why was he feeling like this? He knew he was going to die alone. Everyone dies alone. It's just a fact of life. Or rather… death…

He sighed in contemplation, as he glanced over at the two stiff, cold figures lying on the ground, only a few feet away, that he would soon be following to the spirit world. Two women. Both from the sound. He wondered fondly if Sasuke-teme had sent them, to test his strength maybe? Then he would soundly dismiss the idea, knowing that Sasuke-teme wanted nothing to do with him ever again. And he never would now. How pleasant for him…

He knew the Kyuubi could do nothing for him, even as he felt his life draining away, he could feel the desperate fox sending wave after wave of chakra through his body to try and heal him, but it wouldn't work. The stubborn fox must be going deaf, he thought bitterly to himself. Hadn't he heard the girl? He was poisoned. His blood was thinning, and the small gash on his shoulder would not clot, as the platelets had been destroyed. And so, the pints of blood poured from his body, to the orangey yellow, leaf ridden ground below him.

He sighed, defeated; he had no energy to waste on the pitiful excuse for a fur ball. He thought back on the details of the mission he had been assigned. He no longer worked for Konoha, obviously, so he would pick up 'odds-and-ends' jobs that were necessary, or the missions that the leaf denied, which were mostly unnecessary assassination missions. This mission was of the latter style. Of course, it had been a trap. A trap set by the sound. Why? He had no clue, and frankly never would. Ah, he loved all this positive thinking.

But why would the sound set a trap for him? He no longer was a problem for them. He had no squabble with them. The leaf wasn't his home anymore, so why bother? It was all so confusing. He didn't really care anyways, so he thought of something else.

He thought of the trees. He hated trees. They were always so moody. One minute they were happy and joyful, and the next they were sad, mopey, and dying. He wished he could be like them. But, he couldn't.

Suddenly a rustle in the bushes caught his heightened senses, but he paid it no mind. Not like he had anything to worry about, if it were a passerby, they would probably run anyways, or if they were brave enough to try to save the fox-boy, it wouldn't work, and if it were an enemy, it didn't matter, if they killed him it would only save him from more contemplation on trees, so why bother?

… He was starting to sound like Shikamaru-kun.

He heard light steps crinkle and crackle on the autumn leaves as they stepped closer to him. He simply ignored them.

He wondered how trees managed to be so happy during summer when it was so darn hot. He wondered what trees would like to eat if they could eat. Hmm… probably not apples, since it would be related to them somehow. I wonder if they like cheese. I like cheese on my ramen sometimes…

The figure faltered at the two bodies that lay parallel to the resting fox-boy. And suddenly a light chuckle reached Naruto's ears. He managed to crack one eye open to gaze at the figure that would dare disturb the resting demon boy while he was trying to dye…

"…Sasuke-teme…" Naruto whispered to the man in a calm greeting. As he did, a small trail of blood slid its way out of his parted lips, of its own accord.

He finished his merry chuckle before he replied, "Dobe." He greeted. "I suppose your wondering why these sound-nin were after you?" he asked him with a smugly sardonic grin plastered on his ugly face. Heh.

"Actually, no. I was wondering if trees like to eat cheese." He smiled to himself, proud at the visible blow he had hit his old friend's ego with.

The Uchiha growled slightly at the insult, before closing his eyes and breathing deeply. Then he opened his eyes again and put the same smile on, clearly removing the past incident from his mind.

"I see. Still trying to piss me off, even though you're dying?" he asked smugly, Naruto chuckled to myself almost mockingly, and replied "No, I was simply telling you what I was thinking. You did ask… didn't you, Sasuke-**KUN**?" the blonde asked innocently. He surprised himself at the amount of emotion and sarcasm he was able to emit at a time like this. Just call him 'super sarcastic boy….man'…

"Hn. I suppose I did." He glared at the fox-boy, as if threatening him. Pft. Yeah right. "Well, I suppose I'll tell you anyways."

"Hn. Whatever, just make it short. Not sure I'll get to here the ending if you tell me your whole life's story." he joked yet again. Yeah! Naruto: 3 Sasuke-teme: 0.

"Yes, well…" Good one Sasuke-teme. Ouch that really hurt. "You know the man don't you?"

The man on drury lane? **(1)** The fox-boys mind automatically replies, but he keeps it to himself, know the poor love-starved boy probably won't get it.

"…well, it's a good thing you weren't vague, otherwise I might not know who you were talking about." Ouch. Make that Naruto: 4 Sasuke-teme: 0.

The blonde was surprised at what death could bring. He hadn't spoken this much to anyone, besides Jiraiya-sensei, in four years. He most definitely had never been so emotional.

"Orochimaru-sensei. He told me to take you out. Said you might be a bother."

"Well, he sure was wrong. I don't reside in Konoha anymore. I don't reside anywhere since a I killed Lee-san." There it goes. He let the reason out.

"Ah. I see. So you opened Pandora's Box and let your foxy self out and it ended up with someone on the floor huh? Well you know what they say about good parties." **(2)** …okay. Naruto: 4 Sasuke: 1. big deal.

"So. You gonna bore me with your presence the whole time I'm dying or are you gonna leave soon, 'cause I'd like to get back to…" he couldn't finish his sentence. He was so tired this conversation must have been more troublesome than he thought. Damn sarcasm.

"Yes, well. I suppose my job is done, so sure. I'll be leaving now."

"Great… you have fun... with that…" he barley managed to reply before closing his eyes and drifting half-way to a land his conscious mind couldn't even fathom.

"…Naruto-kun..?" Sasuke prodded cautiously.

"Hmm…?" he could barley even say that much…

"I'd like to think… that if things had been different in my life… we would have been better friends… yeah?" his voice sounded so hopeful, but the fox wielding boy was too tired to lie right now.

"Hmm… it would be nice to… think that… but it's not true… you'd be off with your fan girls, and I'd be stuck with the stupid fox, and you would probably be just like everyone else. So, no. We wouldn't be friends. But… we were… and for me… that's all I need…"

"…yeah… good bye, Dobe… I'm sorry…" **(3)** he never replied. Sasuke left immediately. It didn't matter. He didn't think he had the strength to reply anyways.

So, what now? Back to trees? What did it matter? That's just it… it didn't…

…do you know the muffin man… the muffin man… the muffin man-

Damn it… he hated that song…

…he wondered… do trees like muffins…? …

…

The last drop of blood and the last drop of energy fell from Naruto Uzumaki onto the orangey yellow leaves beneath his now cold body.

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**(1): Lol. Picture Orochimaru as the muffin man! Lol!**

**(2): Okay, 3 things. 1: This is such an OOC thing for Sasuke-kun to say! Lol. 2: 'opened Pandora's Box and let your foxy self out.' is a line Kuwabara said to Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho) when Kurama let Yoko out. Lol. Kuwabara-kun is so funny… 3: He means that it isn't a good party 'till someone is on the floor. Lol.**

**(3): when he says 'Dobe' here, he means it lovingly… or… as lovingly as humanly possible…**

**Japenese Dictionary:**

**Sasuke-teme: it means 'Sasuke bastard', or something to the liking of this… such good friends they are…**

**Dobe: 'dead last'. Strange I know. Not intrely sure whathe means, but he sure does like this nickname…**

**-sensei: Teacher. Example: Jiraiya-sensei – teacher Jiraiya, or to us U S of A's: Mr. Jiraiya.**

**Sannin:one of the threelegendary ninjas.**

**Kyuubi: the nine-tailed fox in Naruto.**

**No, this story is not true in any context that I know of. I was simple reading too many angsty Naruto death ficlets, and reading the manga too much, to pass up the idea as it splashed around in my brain. So no, it probably does not have one ounce of truth to it. Nyah… XP**

**Have fun with it!**

**sausuge**


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